Friday, July 9, 2010

Lost in the woods (again) and wondering how I got here.

Procrastination, the allure of lazy summer days, and good old-fashioned fear have conspired to keep me away from posting these past months. In an effort to cultivate my creative inner landscape, I've been working on digging deeper in my life, learning not to run the other way when faced with discomfort. And I'll be honest here, discomfort shows up a lot now that I've decided to ignore it, and I find myself wanting to run for the hills everytime it rears its ulgy mug. I'm quickly realizing that I've listened to the whipsers of fear for far too long, allowing it to clip my creative wings and keep me feeling content with comfort and numbness.

Paradoxically, in an effort to move forward and be the creative person I've set out to be, I realize that I must dig my heels in and dive deeply into my creativity, instead of uprooting myself and moving on when fear tells me I'll never succeed. I've abused my "gypsy" nature (always searching for that new adventure) and given up too easily, kept things easy and light but never fully immersed myself. Offering my deep emotional attachment has often proved more difficult than I could endure (or so I thought).

In recent weeks, In addition to ignoring my newly christened blog (for fear that I suck), I've considered quitting school (What if I fail Italian or can't repay my loans?) and giving up my dream of taking guitar lessons (I have too much on my plate now), but I've decided to stick it out this time.

Do you hear me, fear? No more running away from my dreams. Or my creativity, as it happens. I'm going to finish school despite how difficult Italian is, buy that guitar and learn to play it. And yes, be less of a stranger to my blog, whether I suck or not. Because the truth is, creativity isn't a by-product of perfection, and I don't have to do anything perfectly to loose my creative spirit.

And here's a question for you, fellow creative archaeologists: What techniques keep you on your creative path? What wakes you up and propels you forward, even when you feel like pulling the covers over your head and listening to your fears? I'd love to I don't find myself lost in the woods quite so often!

Oh, and if you have any tips for a beginner guitarist, please share them. I'm buying my first acoustic guitar this week....


  1. Yeah! She's back!!!
    Okay, first of all Ti sei dimenticata che parlo italiano carissima? eh? Chiedi auito per favore!
    Second, I love that you're learning the guitar and embracing your creative muse! What wakes me up and propels me forward? The sheer need to create. Sure, I spend days having grand and extravigant pity parties for myself but in the end I'm the only one in attendance and it gets so boring that facing the devil called fear is better.

    Okay, basta, addesso scrivi un altro post!

  2. What wakes me up and propels me - the need to succeed........... not always pretty - but it works for me!

    Carpe Diem